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Fury as dad asks eldest daughter to change her name for his new baby

A second-time dad has sparked outrage for asking his eldest daughter to change her name so that he could use it for her newborn half-sister.

When it comes to baby names, there are few things more egregious in the United States than the idea that a moniker may have been stolen by another friend or family member. In a Today survey of nearly 12,000 Americans, 57 percent said the practice of name-stealing was not cool. Yet, still, some would rather tread on other loved ones toes than come up with an entirely new name.

That certainly appears to be the case for the second-time dad and new mom in a viral Reddit post shared under the handle u/Aggressive_Buy4075.

The post, which currently has 23,000 upvotes and over 4,000 comments, was penned by a user who said that she shares a 10-year-old daughter with her friend, resulting from a “drunken hook-up” they had in their 20s.

A girl looking sad and her parents.
Stock image of a sad young girl and two upset parents. A second-time father has been slammed online after making a bold request—telling his eldest daughter to change her name so he could use it for his new baby.
Fizkes/Getty

“When we found out we decided to keep the child and co-parent while remaining friends,” she explained. “We were never a couple and we didn’t want to be one either.”

This setup had worked well enough and, four years ago, her daughter’s father met someone and fell in love. Eventually, they moved in together and his girlfriend became pregnant.

Since then, the woman said she has encouraged her daughter to help her dad and his new partner in whatever way she can as she wants the kids to have a “close relationship despite having different mothers.”

However, all that changed when they met the newborn just after her birth and discovered they had given the child the same name as her daughter. The Redditor was stunned.

“I asked them if they’d named the baby for my daughter trying to understand the logic here but his girlfriend said that no it was just a pretty name she liked,” she wrote.

She told the couple that it was “ridiculous” and “creepy” and slammed her “spineless” ex for going along with this.

“He tried to claim our daughter could use a nickname or something but I shut that down immediately asking why it was more reasonable for a girl who has used that name for a decade to shame her name compared to a baby who had no concept of what a name was yet,” she wrote.

The Redditor has been left furious at their decision, calling it “malicious” and “deliberate.”

“Choosing a child’s name is not easy; parents spend a great deal of time putting thought into how the name will impact the identity of the child. There is no doubt that in all the deliberation, consideration is given to others who already have the name,” Jennifer Kowalski, a Licensed Professional Counselor with Thriveworks, a counseling service offering in-person and online counseling nationwide, told Newsweek.

“The passing on of a name is typically an honor,” she said. “Names tend to be discontinued when the quality of someone’s character is negative. It’s not unusual to know others who name their children the same name, but this is typically someone who is a distant friend or relative.”

In this instance, however, Kowalski felt there was a degree of malice on the part of the new mom, and her actions “made it clear that she does not want their involvement.”

“While she is not outright saying that she does not respect the mother of the oldest daughter or the daughter herself, it is what is implied,” Kowalski said. “The father had an obligation to advocate for them, but he stayed silent, and this will cause a rift.”

Others on Reddit agreed that the decision to name the child after his eldest was a strange one.

“From the outside, it sure reads like she wants to replace her partner’s affection for his first daughter with his new baby,” one user wrote. “It’s creepy.”

Another Redditor commented: “That is so unfair to the baby as well. To be used as a competition prop and not a person that deserves their own place in this world.”

A third commenter expressed concern that the man’s eldest daughter will surely feel like she is “being replaced” because of this decision.

“Her father is saying, or supporting his girlfriend saying, that she doesn’t get to have her own name any more,” they wrote.

Newsweek reached out to u/Aggressive_Buy4075 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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