Dear Abby: Keeping my eggs frozen is a waste of money, husband says

DEAR ABBY: My husband is tired of paying to keep my eggs frozen. He has seven children of his own. I know utility costs are through the roof these days, but I can’t disagree with him more.

He meets up with his friends at the breakfast joint every weekend, and they drop a lot of money there. If he just reallocated his spending money, we could afford to continue freezing my eggs. I keep telling him, “You’re spending money on the wrong eggs!” I’d like to have a baby within the next year. What should I do? — FREEZING IN FARGO

DEAR FREEZING: If your husband doesn’t already know how important having your own child is to you, now is the time to impress it upon him. I am sorry you didn’t mention how long he has been paying for freezing your eggs, but if you hope to conceive next year, he can afford to continue paying a few months longer.

Would his preference be that you remain childless? If that’s the case and you have been misled, you might want to consult a family law attorney.

DEAR ABBY: I was invited to the wedding of my friend’s daughter, “Alexa.” Alexa and her fiance’s registry requested only money to go toward a honeymoon. About a week before the wedding, I sent a monetary gift via their online wedding registry.

The next day, I heard the wedding had been postponed indefinitely, although they are still together. I feel the right thing for them to do is to return my money, but it appears they don’t intend to do so. Should I ask for my gift to be returned? What is the protocol? — TRICKED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TRICKED: In light of the fact that the wedding (and honeymoon to which you contributed) have been canceled, you have every right to ask for your gift to be returned. Suggest it first to Alexa, and if the money isn’t forthcoming, tell your friend. What her daughter did could be considered fraud.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend of 17 years is constantly coming at me looking for an argument lately. I can’t figure it out for the life of me. We have built a nice life. We have a child together, a house and two dogs. She has recently been saying something about perimenopause, which I know nothing about.

I love what we have and I don’t want to lose it, but I have no clue how to fix it. Please advise me so I don’t lose my family. — FEARFUL IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR FEARFUL: Go online and search “perimenopause.” This is a time in women’s lives when our hormone levels are changing, which can affect sleep, mood and body temperature, among other things.

This is something every woman experiences sooner or later, and it’s important you understand it. Volumes have been written on the subject, which will help you gain empathy and insight. Because this is causing challenges in your relationship, don’t procrastinate. Start now.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable — and most frequently requested — poems and essays, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby — Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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